resolutions

I’m not that great at making resolutions. I mean, we’re halfway through the month and I haven’t even really thought about it, But 2015 is gonna be a big year for me, I can feel it. Or at least it better be a big year cause I don’t have a lot going on right now and if it’s still like that for the entire year…….I don’t know I guess I’ll just have to reevaluate everything about who I am.

But we’re not quite there yet so LET’S DO THIS THING.

So first of all, I want to break down all my goals by month. You know, take each little piece as it comes, don’t freak out about it. Life is a pizza you just gotta shove each slice down one at a time as you slowly reach death. RIght? That’s a metaphor. I went to college.

I just want to have one thing each month that I have to accomplish, and I will prioritize those above everything else in my life. School, work, friends, family, everything. That will be easy since right now I’m about 0/4 on those. No, I have friends. Their names are Spencer, Aria, Hanna, and Emily and their television show SUCKS.

I only want to do the first six months, because I was going to do the whole 12 here and it was just getting really long and boring and overwhelming because I’m going to be 22 soon and that’s a huge deal and it was frightening me to think ahead into almost being 23. I don’t even know what 30 under 30 lists I’ll be on by that point, you know?

And uhhhhh maybe if I don’t forget about this in the next 15 mins maybe I’ll make…..blog…posts……about……each………goal????? Maybe? I don’t know. I guess we’ll see. I mean, this has been going surprisingly well so far sooooo maybe I’ve finally hit my groove as far as blogging goes. Am I a real blogger? No, I’m not. We all know that. I don’t even have a functional design.

REGARDLESS, here are the things I want to accomplish in the first six months of 2k15. Again, gonna be a HUGE YEAR FOR ME.

JANUARY!!

Okay so it’s halfway done anyway, and I’m really tempted to make this goal something I’ve already done just so I have something to maybe post on this fucking website in two weeks but yknow what I’m gonna be ambitious and give myself a goal that I haven’t accomplished yet.

This January I would really like to go through all of my socks and pair them up and get rid of ones I don’t wear anymore. This may seem like a meaningless and inconsequential goal and that I probably should pick something exciting to write about but you guys don’t know me. I have SO MANY SOCKS. Way too many, in fact. My girlfriend reading this is definitely shaking her head and is all like “she’s never going to fucking do this” because that’s how Herculean of a task this really is. It is a monumental undertaking, but something I really gotta do.

FEBRUARY ❤

The month of love!!! Fifty Shades of Grey is coming out this month and part of me really wants to see it but another part of me just wants to wait for it to be on Netflix or whatever so I can just do what I did with the eBook which is skip to just all the sex scenes. So we’ll see.

I’m going to be alone on Valentine’s Day even though as previously mentioned I am in a relationship, but she lives across the country. Bummer bummer. So to ease my loneliness of the most romantic day of the year (have I mentioned what a loner I am and how much I really do truly enjoy it – one time I went an ENTIRE DAY and then I realized I had spoken to NO ONE and I felt so relieved just at the thought of it) I’d really like to cook something that I’ve never cooked before.

I’m pretty good at cooking, and I’m not saying that in a joke way like oh I’m pretty good. I’m actually, seriously quite good at it. And it makes me feel good and accomplished and all that stuff. So idk what I’ll make, but I just wanna, yknow, try new things! Open myself up to the wonders of the world I haven’t discovered yet!! Maybe I’ll try making a frittata or something? What even is that. So much to learn. What a big year.

*~* MARCH *~*

March is always so incredibly huge for me because it’s the month of my birth, but this March I’m actually going to Los Angeles for the first time!!!! I’m so so so excited mostly because I’m finally going to see the walk of fame and see the Britney star and also probably like get discovered and be put on a whirlwind trip to fame cause it’s LA and that’s where blonde people go to make money. That’s my understanding of Los Angeles. That and In-N-Out.

I feel like I need to have a showbiz oriented goal, and I really really really want to write a TV pilot, so maybe I should say that I’ll have it done by the end of March….? Ugh I’m so hesitant to set this goal because I really don’t want to fail it but like reach for the moon right? Maybe?

APRIL

As we get further and further into the year, it becomes less clear what these months of my life are going to look like. Which is scary and exciting in that way that we’ve all felt ever since we became conscious of the construct of time and the passing of it. Like who am I even going to be in April 2015? Will I have gotten a haircut by then? Hopefully, because I got my haircut in April of last year.

One thing I’ve really always wanted to do is make a sort of little physical construction of my blog. I’ve been blogging in some form or another since I was 14 years old and I want to make something that’s kind of a cross between a magazine and a diary and a blog. I want to make something and be able to hold it and touch it and show it to people. Like a physical LiveJournal that I draw and write and make myself.

Ugh why are these goals so cheesy and genuine I hate this I feel like I wanna crawl out of my skin and slither back into my weird “everything is a joke” skin like some kind of shitty snake.

MAY

Ugh what else do I even want to do? Hahah is it sad that I can’t even think of anything else I want to accomplish? Like there are other things I want to do but it’s a little bit out of my control and I really don’t want to set myself up for too much failure you know?

Five months is a long time guys. You know what? I just want to go to Taco Bell this month. It’s been so long and I’m never going to do it unless I give myself a real deadline. So there it is.

look at that fake meat <3333

Though frankly I’m setting this goal at a time when I am starving to death and the only thing I can afford to eat is rice and pasta and I feel like I’m probably going to die.

JUNE

FINALLy here we are, halfway through the year. It’ll be warm and I won’t be tan, but at least I’ll probably be a bit less afraid to leave my apartment than I was last June.

Oh my gosh the one thing I’ve always really wanted to do is stretch every day and be more flexible! Yeah! That’s a goal!

That’s probably the most boring thing I could have ever wanted to do, but it’s so true. Every day I’m like “ugh if only I could just bend my body into more than 2 shapes (at the most). I feel like I would just feel so much better. Maddie from Dance Moms seems pretty happy about it.

THERE YOU GO so was the most boring thing you’ve ever read or the second most boring thing you’ve ever read? Hard to say, right? I’M SORRY but just indulge me for a hot second you guys I’ve had a lot of my mind, like my insane craving for popcorn that I can’t ever satisfy.

Help me.

<33

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