WOMANLY CONCERN #2: Leggings as Pants

People, I am what you would call “adorably disgusting.” Or at least that’s how I think of myself. I’m sure certain people would disagree, but the fact is that I’m pretty messy in almost all aspects of life, including personal appearance, eating habits, pretty much everything that you can think of, I have fucked up in a disgusting way.

But I am damn cute, and I know that because I was hit on by a man outside of a Wendy’s who thought I was 16.

So a fine layer of filth covering my person is practically inadmissible, and I’m betting that it’s admissible for you too. I can practically guarantee that people don’t really give a fuck what you look like. It’s hard to let go off that deeply ingrained shame that comes with living as a woman in America, but it’s so freeing!!! Let yourself go!!

That brings me to my main point here – please wear leggings as pants.

I guess you don’t necessarily have to, but you should. They are comfortable, nice, and underneath a pair of tights, are very warm. I love it, and I wouldn’t give it up for anything in the entire world.

There has been a lot of great writing/performance art on the Internet from ladies hatin’ on The Man telling them what trends they hate and I love it.

But even ladies are rejecting the leggings as pants way of life and that’s what gets me down. Somehow it’s supposed to be trashy or cheap or like that guy would say on What Not To Wear sometimes (which liberal arts college taught me was PATRIARCHAL BULLSHIT) and my mom would repeat “if you’re going to go out in pajamas then you shouldn’t have gone out at all.”

Fuck that. I’ll go out in whatever I want.

I used to have this theory about college admissions, but I think it applies here too, and it also happens to be a key part of the movie Stick It. If we all just stopped caring, then normal standards would drop, and we would all be better for it.

I’m not saying that it’s not worth it to get dressed up every once in a while. Right now I’m wearing a skirt and red lipstick in a library on a Friday evening. But please wear leggings as pants more because I’m tired of being the lowest of the low y’all. And until I can get some knockoff Chanel leggings with those C’s on the knees or whatever, I’m not going to be able to rise above ever.

Help a sister out and be comfortable at the same time!! Solidarity! Join with your sisters and other gender nonconforming siblings and lower standards all over the world!


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